I love being a stay at home mom, and I love my kids... but the last few days have been KILLER!!!! I need some major advice because right now I am ready to go work full time, 60 hour days because that has to be easier to take then what is going on...
I am sure I am going to sound DUMB or a bad mom.... but seriously, I am in need of some help. Haley and Hunter are awesome and I enjoy them a LOT... HEAPS... but NOT TOGETHER!!!! Haley by herself is so much fun, Hunter is a blast... but when the two of them get together we have a Whine Fest! Not only that they FIGHT over the most STUPIDEST things ever.... example... Haley said something was the color Silver.... Hunter said it was Grey.... WHO CARES... it is the same STUPID color!!!!!! Every time they whine or fight, I send them to their rooms until they can come out and talk normal... When they fight I like to listen to both sides of the story (if it is a legitimate fight... not over a color) ....
Maybe the kids sense my frustration and that is why they are acting out... WHO KNOWS!!!
I hate feeling like a bad parent... please any advice will be great...
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7 comments:
Stef, I totally feel for you. First of all, you ARE NOT a bad mom. I think it's totally normal for our kids to make us feel like we're going insane from time to time. I don't know why they do it, but mine do it too. I don't have much advice because my kid's fights (well, more like Caden beating up Jacob) are totally different from yours, but I can guess that when the time comes that they are fighting like you describe, I might just ignore them. You know, if it's not life or death. Like, if they try to involve you with the whole color fight, just play dumb and say, "I don't know what color it is" and let them argue it over away from you. I think that's what I might do. But I don't know. I had a whole bunch of ideas for how to handle a two year old and most of them haven't worked. I'll pray for you... oh, there's nothin' wrong with a little mind-numbing side job for escape, nothing at all. :)
Stef,
This happens to E and K, too (probably every sibling set). For me boredom and too much free time are the enemy. The one thing that works is to give them very separate activities to do for 1/2 hour increments (Computer time for E while K does a puzzle and switch after 30 minutes then E does art while K does legos, ect)or a really fun activity to do together. You probably already have done this sometimes but this always solves the problem.
Love Jen
Oh, yes, I remember having the exact same problem with Len and Chris. A lot of arguing, a lot of whining and a lot of
"M O MMMMMMM".
All I can remember is ME wanting to get away!!! I thought about taping them during one of their fights and playing it back to them and playing a bit of a guilt trip on them, but I never had the energy.
I have no advise for you, except to escape to your room a few times until they start to learn how to drive. ;)
I'm with Jen, try to keep em' busy, take them outside to play or go for a walk. I have also noticed that SLEEP is a huge factor with Riley and Owen, when they don't sleep they are both extra cranky. Owen seems to be especially grouchy if he does not take a nap on the days he goes to pre-school.
Ugh, I am right there with you a lot of days. But the truth is, if you go back to work now you will still need to clean your house, make meals, do laundry, and "make-up" for all the time you are missing with the kids, including Jonah. I'd try to find a regular time away for you without the kids. I recently did a 10 week Bible Study and it was great to be out of the house an evening a week and not spend any money while doing it. It also forced me to be reading my Bible regularly which tends to put keep me more centered in my parenting. Hang in there, and know that we all feel this way from time to time.
Aww man - sounds like how I've been feeling for a couple months now. I am so done with being a mom in general, I just want to get away! I mean I love my kids, and really I wouldn't want it any other way, but I am just so frustrsted and tired of all the fighting and craziness!! I sometimes think someone else could watch my kids all day and do a much better job than me, right?! So no advice here, just overwhelming sympathy - I'm right there with ya!!
I'm hoping it's a phase??? Wouldn't that be nice if they just grew out of it tomorrow :)?
A friend of mine the other day said that when her kids fight, she makes them sit together facing each other for a set amount of time (on a timer) with no playing or talking or anything. If they start to argue or get mad, the timer starts over. By the end of it, they are so amused with themselvs that they have forgotten their fight and get along again. I haven't tried it, I think I'm too lazy, but hey - it works for her!
I'm not quit there yet, but I know I'll be refering back to your blog for advice when I need it!
-Min
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